More on Adjusting

I hope my last post didn't come across too negatively. I changed the title of the post after thinking about it. The kids aren't exactly "traumatized" by living in two homes, but it is an adjustment that needs to be validated. Sometimes I tend to focus on the negative, when what I really want to portray is something positive. In this case, the huge positive is that the children are doing exceptionally well - in spite of all the change. Some may disagree with me for being so dramatic about our two-house situation. Some may question why we are even attempting to have our children split their time equally between two homes. Either way, mediation, extensive research, thought, prayer, specific circumstances, and consideration of all people involved - the kids being the most important factor - went into this decision to have the kids live with both Mommy and Daddy. I decided years ago not to be at war with my kids' dad, which has been possible because we have both been willing to compromise on many situations. We try to respect one another so that our children will feel safe and loved. I freely allow my children to talk about what it is like living in two homes - even though it isn't up for negotiation at this time. We try to come up with solutions for some of the problems - many of which can be solved simply. I think it really helps kids to adjust to a situation over which they have little control, if they feel they at least have control over how they express their feelings, and over some of the decisions about their situation. Yes - kids are extremely resiliant. However, this does not mean they are like bouncy balls with no feelings. They are still human beings - the most important human beings I know, in fact.