Mother's Day Experiment: Successful

So I decided to take a new approach to Mother's Day this year, and I think I'm going to keep it - even if someday I am married again - even when my kids have grown up and moved away. I must first go back to Mother's Day 2007, which stands out as the worst day I have had as a parent ever. We had recently moved back to Utah from North Carolina, and I hadn't even come close to adjusting. I don't even have a journal entry for that day, at least not one that I can find. However, I clearly remember waking up and starting off the day with many reminders of the importance of treating Mommy nicely on Mother's Day, using phrases like "You need to be especially nice to me today". Even more vivid is the hour of Sacrament Meeting that day, where 3 year-old Grace screamed the entire meeting. While trying to comfort her, Olivia snuck out. No big deal, right? Except she took a two-year-old neighbor (whose mother thought she was playing in the nursery) outside of the building on a walk to look at the flowers. Isaac was lying in the middle of an isle of the chapel floor, where I must have left him to go looking for Olivia and the toddler. Grace was still attached to my hip in a fit. I eventually found Olivia and her friend walking casually on the sidewalk in front of the church. The rest of the day went downhill from there. Mother's Day 2008 was slightly better. This year I was determined not to let this day [meant to celebrate the most honorable occupation] be destroyed. Perhaps I just lucked out today, but I woke up with three goals in mind:

1) Do not have ANY expectations today.
2) Do not remind the children that today is Mother's Day.
3) Do not cry out of frustration today.

I prayed alone, we prayed as a family, and we headed to church. I felt a great peace with me throughout each meeting, including Sacrament Meeting. The kids weren't perfect, but they were good. I had no expectations running through my head or heart. The only tears shed today were those of joy when all three children went willingly to the front of the chapel to sing the usual Primary Mother's Day medley. I noticed each of them actually singing the right words, which is saying a lot for Isaac (who usually won't even go up to sing). Olivia gave me two thoughtful gifts, and acknowledged me in a way that may not have occurred had I been anxiously anticipating her validation. Later in the evening, we had a wonderful time celebrating with my mom, Susan and Ben, Jill and Izabella, and Uncle Jack at the house on Browning. The kids were just as needy, messy, rambunctious, and full of energy as usual. But somehow today I just let it be. This Mother's Day was exceptional, simply because in many ways it wasn't exceptional . . .

. . . it was miraculous. For the record, I was able to meet the requirements of all three goals. And just as I was tucking Isaac and Grace into bed, Olivia was outside releasing a spider she had found in her room. When she came back in, she was holding one of the most beautiful plants I have ever seen. There was also a card, part of which I will share:

"Each year when I ask my mother what I can get her for Mother's Day, she tells me the same thing: "Find a single mom who is doing the hardest job in the world (raising kids) by herself, and give her something from me" . . . Keep the faith, and . . . keep up the good work!"

It was completely anonymous and contained a good amount of cash. What a beautiful ending to the best Mother's Day yet! That person's mother (perhaps a single parent herself) taught her child well. I have been keeping an ongoing list of specific things I will do for single parents when I have the means to do them. I will definitely add this graceful act of kindness to my list.